The Ice Cream Thief
by Call Us Chaos
Summary: Kaito has a single fall back plan for everything in life. That plan? Eat ice cream. But when his precious dessert was stolen from him by an unknown assailant, how will he cope? Will he ever discover who committed such a sadistic crime? And why was a cell phone battery left in the freezer? Read to find out.
1. The Crime

**Author: **Okay, so how do I do this whole fanfic writing thing?

**Chaos: **There's really not a template for HOW this is done; people just kind of… write. Though I did read through the rules of what is considered an "Acceptable entry," and you're not allowed to use a script format when you write.

**Author:** …Oops.

**Chaos: **Eh, who reads the Terms and Conditions anyway?

**Author: **You did, apparently.

**Chaos: **Touche. Whatever. So, dear readers, here we are with our very first fanfiction! A little piece we call _The Ice Cream Thief_.

**Author: **Chaos won't do this, so I guess I will. DISCLAIMER: None of these characters belong to us, so I don't want to see anyone filing lawsuits. But if you DO, sue Chaos because she was the one to drag me into this mess.

**Chaos: **Hey!

**The Ice Cream Thief**

_The love of my life…_

_The one thing that always kept me going, no matter my troubles…_

_The single comfort in a life of hardships and pain…_

_And now you're gone… forever._

_No, no! This can't be happening!_

_My God…_

"**What happened to my Rocky Road?!"** Kaito Shion's voice ripped through the home of the Vocaloids like a gunshot. Miku Hatsune jumped as she was fixing her long turquoise-green hair and pulled out a few strands. The twins, Rin and Len Kagamine were practicing the duet of _Butterfly on Your Right Shoulder_, and Len screamed and jumped into the arms of his tougher sister. Kamui Gakupo nearly stabbed himself with his samurai sword as he was practicing, and Luka Megurine used some of the more colorful words she had learned in English to describe her surprise. The rest of the Vocaloids didn't seem to care much, as this wasn't the first time _Bakaito___randomly started screaming.

Those five that did care about the poor moron rushed to his side in the kitchen, where he still stood in front of the open freezer door.

"It's gone…" He whispered, voice dry and coarse from the scream. His face was pale, and from an outsider's perspective it might have seemed like he had suffered the death of a loved one. In his mind, of course, he had.

"Kaito, why don't you take a seat?" Miku gently led him by his arm and sat him down in a chair at the dining room table. Kaito didn't resist being led, but he didn't acknowledge it either. The blue-haired man buried his face in his scarf and laid his head on the table.

"Get ahold of yourself, man!" Gakupo said as Kaito emitted a muffled sob. "We can always by _more_ ice cream!"

"Jesh, buf ig fush ishn teseme." Kaito replied, his voice too garbled to clearly hear what was being said through the scarf.

Gakupo raised an eyebrow. "Come again?"

"Yes, but it just isn't the same." Kaito barely lifted his head from the table. "You don't understand, Gakupo. My ice cream is my _life._ If I've had a bad day, I eat ice cream. If I've had a good day, I eat ice cream. I reward myself with a good recording session with ice cream and at the end of the day I like to settle down with a nice bowl of ice cream. That frozen dessert is _mine _and _mine_ alone, and the thought that anyone would dare steal it is just too much." Kaito plopped his head back down on the table and yet another sob could be heard.

"Are you sure it's even been taken? It might just be back behind some of this other stuff." Rin had Len boost her up so that she could search through the frozen foods and to the back of the freezer. After a moment she uttered a surprised grunt and pulled out a foreign object. "Is this… a cell phone battery?"

Everyone, even Kaito, turned to look at what Rin held. It was a lithium ion battery, for sure, and it was exactly the type you would find in a rechargeable cell phone. Len put Rin down and she placed the battery on the table in front of Kaito. "Do you know how this got here?" She asked.

The gears spun in the young man's mind and suddenly his eyes lit up fiercely. "I'll bet that the thief dropped it while they were stealing my ice cream!"

Luka looked dubious. "How do you go about accidentally dropping a cell phone battery in a- OW!" She winced and held her arm, but Kaito was paying no attention.

"Of course! This is a clue! The perpetrator is testing my wits by leaving me clues as to who they are! But who does this clue point to?" Kaito thought for a moment, and then snapped his fingers. "Ah-hah! I know exactly who this could be! This heinous crime will not go unpunished, mark my words!" He shot out of the kitchen with the cell phone battery in tow.

The group in the kitchen stood in silence for a few moments until Len looked Rin.

"Um, he does realize that the person who stole the ice cream probably ate it too, right?"

"Shhh, let the poor man dream."

**Chaos: **Aaaand that wraps up the first chapter! A new update should be coming in the next couple of days, so keep checking up!

**Author: **Favorite this if you enjoyed, and leave me a review so that I know what you guys think! That's about it, so Chaos and I will see you in the next update!


	2. Red Herrings

**Chaos: **Hello once again! Did you find the last chapter interesting? Did it strike the sleuth nerve that lies dormant in us all? Were you itching to find out what happens next? Well, the wait is over! Here is the next chapter of _The Ice Cream Thief!_

**Author: **Who the devil are you talking to?

**Chaos: **Uh, the readers?

**Author:** Well, can you keep it down? I'm writing over here.

**Chaos: **Writing what?

**Author: **_The third chapter!_

**Chaos: **Oh. Yeah, you keep doing that… and, uh, I'll be over here. So anyway guys, here you are! And for the second time, disclaimer! Yeah, none of the Vocaloids (or Utaus, for that matter) belongs to either me or my cranky friend. So, yeah, that stuff last chapter about suing me? Please don't. Other than that, enjoy!~

…

Kaito ran through the halls of the Vocaloid house, past bedrooms, recording studios, and dance halls where they practice their choreography. (Even though they would like you to think their awesome dance moves come naturally, all of the Vocaloids actually work very hard to perfect those dances.) The man in blue eventually came to a yellow-painted door with a sign on it reading "Knock Before Entering." This being Kaito, he bursts through the door with no thought to courtesy at all.

"OH MY GOD KAITO DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO READ?!" The high-pitched voice of a teenage girl reached his ears as he stumbled into the room. Looking around Kaito saw that the walls were covered in posters of boy bands and items that he guessed were sentimental. He looked across the room at the bed and saw the owner of the voice, who was also the person he came to see. Neru sat up on her bed, still clutching her phone in her hands and glaring daggers at him.

"Uh… I, uh." Kaito's original confidence at confronting the assumed thief began to slip. _She's really scary when you interrupt her texting, _he thought while trying to avoid meeting her gaze.

"If you don't start talking in the next five seconds about why you came into my room without knocking, I'm going to strangle you with your stupid blue scarf." The blonde girl shot another look at him and Kaito felt as if he were going to pass out.

"I, uh, I need to ask you something." Kaito swallowed hard, and Neru waved her hand impatiently.

"Spit it out, Bakaito, I was being serious about the scarf."

"Did… did you steal my ice cream from the freezer?"

"_What?"_ Neru's eyes flashed in anger and she looked as if she was going to jump off the bed and throttle him.

"M-my ice cream went missing earlier today, a-and this is the only clue that was left behind." He reached a shaking hand into his pocket and brought out the cell phone battery. He winced and squeaked a little as she got off of her bed and grabbed the battery from his hand.

She barely glanced at the battery. "This is the wrong type of battery for my phone, dummy. And why would I steal your freaking ice cream anyway? That stuff is way too fattening." She shoved the battery back at him and sat down on her bed. "I already get enough crap! I drive the cell phone bill through the roof, I spend too much time in my room, I sing like a high pitched Miku, which I so do not! I don't need to have _you_ of all people accusing _me_ of stealing your stupid ice cream." She sighed and picked up her phone again. "But if you want a clue, some jerk came in here earlier and said that you might want that."

She pointed over to her dresser, which had a lock of hair sitting on top of it. "I would have thrown it away, but I didn't want to touch someone else's hair, that's gross."

Kaito walked over to the dresser and picked up the hair. "Who gave this to you?" He asked.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I wasn't paying attention, I was texting."

Kaito sighed and examined the lock. It was a pale pink color, the exact shade of a certain English speaking Vocaloid! Kaito grinned stupidly and ran towards the exit. "Thanks Neru! And sorry for accusing you of theft!"

"Yeah, whatever." Her cynical words were cut off as Kaito slammed the door to her room and started to his next destination.

…

**Chaos:** Ha! Someone's in denial.

**Author:** Who, Kaito for _still_ thinking that he can rescue his precious ice cream?

**Chaos: **No! Neru. She's totally a high-pitched Miku.

**Author: **Well, you know what she would say to that.

**Chaos: **What?

**Author: **_Gocha Gocha Uruse!_

**Chaos: **Well played. Anyway, dear readers, the two of us will see you in the next chapter! Catch you later!


	3. Fish, Concussions and Alcoholics

**Chaos: **Yo Auth, guess what?!

**Author: **Shut up, I'm sleeping.

**Chaos: **It's LABOR DAY!

**Author: **And that concerns me… why?

**Chaos: **That means that you have one extra day to post the new chapter that you should have put up on Sunday! Yay for second chances!

**Author: **Uuuggggh.

**Chaos: **Enough of the crabbiness! It's postin' time!

**Author: **You'd be a lot less chipper if you weren't a figment of my imagination.

**Chaos: **Don't you mean OUR imagination?

**Author: **Jesus. Okay, my turn to address the audience. Here's the next chapter to _The Ice Cream Thief, _ladies and gentlemen! Hope you like it!

…

The sound of boots stomping echoed down the hallway as Kaito once again shot through the Vocaliod home. He turned multiple corners and ran into five closed doors before finally coming onto the person he was looking for. The pink haired woman looked up from the spiral notebook she was writing in at her desk and smiled as Kaito entered the room.

"Hi Kaito! How's it going?" Luka greeted him.

Kaito tried looking nonchalant. "Fine. What are you doing?"

"Oh, just writing a new song. What do you think?" She showed the notebook to him, and he furrowed his eyebrows at the strange symbols lining the page.

"I don't-uh, yeah, that looks great! Nice lyrics, very abstract." He trailed off and cleared his throat, hoping to fool her. Unfortunately, Kaito sucks at lying.

"Haha, it's okay if you can't read it Kaito, the lyrics are in English." Luka grinned at him and he sighed in relief.

"By the way," he decided to ask as the thought crossed his mind. "Do you know where Meiko is?" He hadn't seen his redheaded girlfriend since before the theft, and the sensible side of him was starting to get worried while the rest of him was still too focused on his ice cream to care.

"I'm not sure; she's probably off drunk somewhere or passed out in her room." Luka laughed a little. "So, anything else you need? Have you gotten anywhere on your ice cream case?"

Kaito finally remembered the reason he had come in here, and immediately turned on sleuth mode. "Yes, actually! But I have a few questions I need to ask first."

"Okay, shoot." Luka leaned back in her chair with an amused smirk.

"What were you doing on the night of… uh, um, yesterday?"

"Just doing a test recording of this song I'm writing." Luka nodded to the spiral notebook. "I'm thinking of calling it _Circus Monster._ What do you think?" Kaito pretended not to hear the question in order to seem more aloof than he is.

"Is there anyone who can vouch for you?" He copied the words straight off of a detective show he was watching the other day, even though he wasn't entirely sure what _vouch_ meant. Or why someone would have to do it for you. Lazy bum, do it yourself!

"Yeah, actually, Gakupo…"

"_Enough of your games, woman! Did you steal my ice cream?!" _Kaito shouted, slamming his fist down on her desk and trying to look threatening. This was another move he saw on the cop show, but instead of getting a confession out of her like he had hoped, Luka slapped him with a fish.

"No, I didn't steal your ice cream, now stop yelling at me!" She cried as he hit the floor with a _thunk._

Kaito lay still on the floor for a few moments as images of tuna danced across his vision. He managed to pull himself up into a sitting position and decided to apologize to both of the Lukas that were shifting in and out of focus. "Okay, I believe you, you're innocent."

Luka huffed and crossed her arms. "That's what I thought." She tapped her chin for a few moments. "But now that I think about it, I saw Meiko rummaging around in the kitchen yesterday. When I asked her what she was doing she muttered something in drunk-speak and stumbled out."

The mildly concussed man took a few moments to process what Luka just said. When it finally sunk in, he pulled himself slowly to his feet and tripped his way over to the door. "Thank you for your time, scary fish-lady." He mumbled, and with that journeyed not-so soberly to find his drunken girlfriend.

…

**Chaos: **Oooh, this is getting interesting! Two red herrings? What's next, a third?!

**Author: **Nice math skills, dummy.

**Chaos:** Was that a sarcastic comment I heard?

**Author: **No, of course not.

**Chaos: **Was _that_-

**Author: **Oh dear God. Anyway guys, the next chapter will be up soon! Not sure when, but definitely by the start of next week. Chaos and I will see you then!


	4. A Little Advice

**Author: **Well, I got that new chapter finished.

**Chaos: **Oh my god finally! Geez, you were sitting at the computer for like three hours, and your chapters are only six hundred words! You have got to be the slowest typist on the face of the planet.

**Author: **Well, why don't _you_ try typing next time, Captain Criticism!

**Chaos: **I would if I could, believe me! But I think I'll keep it.

**Author: **The keyboard?

**Chaos: **The nickname! Captain Criticism… I like it! Rolls off the tongue, not to mention I love words that start with "C."

**Author: **Oooookayy…

**Chaos: **Confusion, catastrophe, claustrophobia, chloroform, consort, chaos (of course), coffin…

**Author: **Um.

**Chaos: **Crucified, corrupt, crusade, cavorting, collapse, clamor…

**Author: **Ahem. Well, while she does that, I'm going to post this. Chapter three, everyone!

…

Kaito hesitated for a few moments outside of his girlfriend's bedroom. He was still a little fuzzy from the blow to the head, courtesy of Luka, and out of all the people he's talked to he feared the redhead's drunken wrath the absolute most. _Courage, Kaito, _He told himself. _This is for your beautiful ice cream._ He took a deep breath and walked into the room.

The door opened with a loud _clink,_ and an empty bottle of sake skittered across the hardwood floor. Kaito winced and hoped that Meiko was either too drunk to care or sober for once in her life. The bad luck streak he had been having, however, was further extended because his girlfriend was quite hung over at the moment.

"Arrgh, hit the mute button on that bottle! God, I have a headache." Meiko moaned from the bed, where she had her head buried under the pillows in a vain attempt to block out the sound. Kaito approached with wise caution.

"Meiko? Uh, it's Kaito." Meiko pulled herself into a sitting position and Kaito braced for the worst.

"What do you want? I'm a little busy, what with my head exploding and all." She said simply, pressing her fingers to her temples and squinting even though the lights were off.

Kaito thought very carefully as to how to phrase his next sentence so as to not get stabbed with a broken bottle. "My ice cream went missing earlier today, and I was wondering if maybe you'd seen someone take it?" He wasn't going to bring up her suspicious kitchen trip; she was probably looking for booze anyway.

Meiko was silent for a few moments, then chuckled lightly and ran her fingers through her hair. "Looking for your ice cream huh? It's all about the ice cream." She huffed and scratched her head. "No, I don't remember seeing anyone take it, mostly because I've been hung over all day."

Kaito looked disappointed, until Meiko gave a mischevious smile. "But I can give you some advice." His ears perked up, and he listened intently, since a little advice was exactly what he needed. "Think about the one person, out of _all_ the others, who would have a good reason to take your ice cream."

Kaito furrowed his eyebrows before giving a gasp of realization. "How could I have not thought of that before?" He shouted and then profusely apologized as Meiko covered her ears. "I have to go, thank you so much!" He quickly kissed her on the head and ran out of the room, taking care not to slam the door behind him.

"Where the hell is he going?" Meiko pondered, before giving up and flopping back onto her pillow to sleep off the headache.

…

**Author: **You done yet?

**Chaos: **Corporate, contamination, clairvoyance, conspire, corrode, corporeal, cataclysm, corpse, and crab cakes.

**Author: **…

**Chaos: **…

**Author: **Crab cakes?

**Chaos: **Crab cakes.

**Author: **Just checking. Well, uh, on that note-

**Chaos: **A high "C" for you music lovers! Get it? Note? C?!

**Author:** …It's time to go. Chaos- er, Captain Criticism and I will see you in the next installment!


	5. Behind Enemy Lines

**Chaos: **Dude, that last chapter was so short!

**Author: **I was really tired and couldn't think of anything to write!

**Chaos: **It was like five paragraphs! That's not a chapter, that's half a page!

**Author: **This is the internet, I've seen worse.

**Chaos: **…Okay, you've got me there. But at least give the readers something good this time?

**Author: **Sigh, fine. Geez, you're like my mother.

**Chaos: **Technically, our mother.

**Author: **Figment. Of. My. Imagination.

**Chaos: **Still counts!

…

Kaito, with new hope and inspiration flooding his system, sprinted through the Vocaloid house one last time and bolted out the door before anyone could think to stop him. An insane grin was etched into his features as he ran down street after street to end up in enemy territory, otherwise known as the home of the Utaus.

The house itself was fairly inconspicuous. It was decent looking, but not nearly as large as the Vocaloid mansion. The white painted exterior felt comfortable against the orange and pink background of the retreating day, and it had an air about it that just made you feel relaxed and at home.

…That is, if you were anyone but Kaito. Failing to notice any scenery whatsoever, he rushes up the asphalt driveway and up the mahogany steps to the front door. Hesitating before pressing the doorbell, he decided to try and see if the door was even locked. He was in luck, for the door opened with ease. He turned on what he calls "spy mode" and tiptoed inside.

The inside of the house had the same homey atmosphere that the outside had, with photographs of the extensive Utau family lining the walls and flowering plants placed along the hallways. Kaito's heart beat rapidly in his chest. He imagined himself in a war film, infiltrating enemy lines to discover incriminating evidence of nuclear war plans or battle strategies. Or, in this case, discover evidence of ice cream thievery.

Kaito had no clue where he was going, never having been in the Utau house before, but after peeking into a couple of empty rooms, he finally found what he was looking for; the kitchen. Sticking his head in to make sure the room was clear, he carefully stepped inside and immediately headed for the freezer.

_If I find my Rocky Road in here, I'll _know_ it was them who stole it!_ Kaito thought to himself as he opened the door to the freezer and starting looking around. He let out a gasp as his eyes locked onto a round container hidden in the very back. Grabbing it, he saw that it was, in fact, a thing of Rocky Road ice cream!

"I knew it!" Kaito forgot all about being quiet, and holding the ice cream close to his chest, he turned to leave.

"Just _what_ do you think you're doing?!" The voice startled him as he was turning around, and his heart sank as he saw a young girl in pink blocking the door.

"Oh, shi-," Kaito didn't have time to finish the curse as Teto Kasane grabbed him by his scarf and yanked him down to her height.

"I'm going to ask you one more time, Kaito; _what do you think you're doing?" _Teto's voice was low and threatening, and Kaito for the second time that day was terrified of a little girl.

"Um, uh…" He gulped and took a breath, trying to be as assertive as possible. "Taking back the ice cream you stole?" The answer came out uncertain and as a question, so Kaito made a mental note to never try being assertive again.

Teto pulled the scarf tighter, causing him to choke. "You're full of it, Kaito. You came here to steal our ideas for songs, didn't you!"

Kaito shook his head as best he could while he was being strangled. "No! I promise! Why would I even do that?"

"What, are our songs _bad_ or something? Just because we don't charge thousands of yen to sing them, huh?" Teto glared and Kaito smartly decided not to dig a bigger grave for himself.

"I really just came for the ice cream!" Kaito held up the container of Rocky Road, and Teto stared at it for a few seconds disbelievingly.

"You can't be serious." Teto threw him down to the floor when he nodded vigorously. "Stupid Vocaloid! _That's mine! _Why would I want to steal your ice cream?"

"To get back at me for being more popular than you!" Kaito pulled himself off of the ground, but pressed his back safely against the freezer for protection.

Teto stared at him for a few more seconds, then simply sighed and rubbed her nose. "Kaito, you know, I don't even care that you're more popular than I am, because you have to be the dumbest person I have ever met." Kaito stared at her confusedly, so she continued. "Out of all the things that I could possibly take from the Vocaloid mansion, why would I steal _ice cream?_ If I wanted to get back at you I'd delete all the songs you've been recording off of your computer or something!"

Kaito gasped. "How did you know I've been recording songs on my computer?"

"Because you're a Vocaloid, stupid! Recording songs is what you do!"

"Oh." Kaito realized that Teto had made a really good point, so he had to admit defeat. He hung his head and handed the ice cream back to the pink haired girl. "Sorry, Teto."

Teto sighed again and took the ice cream back from him. "Don't worry about it. Hey, no hard feelings?"

Kaito smiled and nodded, moving out of the way while Teto put the ice cream back in the freezer. "By the way, Kaito, I have a question."

"Yeah?" Kaito asked curiously as Teto turned to face him again.

"Who let you in here? I mean, it's not like you broke in without permission or anything, right?"

Kaito chuckled nervously and Teto looked at him suspiciously. "Kaito…"

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Um, I have a thing, somewhere else. Gotta go!" Kaito shot towards the door, leaving a very angry Teto in his wake.

"Vocaloid! When I see you again..!" She let the threat hang as Kaito bolted out the front door of the Utau house and back towards the safety of his own home.

…

**Author: **I really think you fail to understand what "Part of my imagination" means.

**Chaos: **Does it matter? Point is, I'm here, I'm awesome, and you can't get rid of me!

**Author: **Not without extensive therapy, no.

**Chaos: **You make it sound like being around me is a bad thing!

**Author: **No, I just… ugh, never mind. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! The end is near, so be watching for the next installment!

**Chaos: **Auth and I will see you then!


	6. The Big Reveal

**Chaos: **So, something really, really important happened.

**Author: **What?

**Chaos: **It's subtle, small, but it's important, and when you miss it, it's gone.

**Author: **_What?_

**Chaos: **… Sunday.

**Author: **Ah, crap, I forgot to update the last chapter, didn't I?

**Chaos: **Yes. My condolences.

**Author: **Well, why didn't you tell me?!

**Chaos: **Um.

**Author: **You forgot too, didn't you?

**Chaos: **Yeah…

**Author: **Sigh. Well, this is the last chapter, so I'll make it up to the audience by making it a good wrap up!

**Chaos: **Sounds like a plan! Well, let's get started! The final, chapter, ladies and gents! Enjoooy!

…

Kaito stumbled into the Vocaloid's kitchen, out of breath and exhausted from his escape from enemy territory. The group seated at the table, consisting of Miku, Luka, Rin and Len, looked at him curiously as he collapsed into one of the empty chairs.

"Where've you been, Kaito?" Miku asked curiously over the sound of his gasps for breath. "Running a couple marathons?"

"At… Utau… house… look…for…ice…cream," He managed to say in between pauses.

"You went to _Teto Territory?" _Len asked in amazement, and Luka giggled. "Dude, you've got guts."

"Or he's an idiot." Rin interjected.

"That too."

Kaito looked at them after he began to breathe normally again. "I thought that one of those guys took my ice cream for revenge, okay?" He sighed. "As you can tell, they didn't."

"The only thing I can tell is that you were chased out of there pretty quickly. Did Teto threaten you with a loaf of bread or something?" Luka teased, and everybody but Kaito laughed.

"I just… don't know. I _don't know! _I thought I had it, that for once I could be the smart one to figure it all out! But, no, I'm still just a moron with a weird addiction to ice cream. Minus the ice cream!" He slumped his shoulders, putting his face in his hands.

The rest of the table was quiet for a moment, until Miku spoke up. "Hey, Kaito," She said gently, touching him on the shoulder. "Maybe you still can figure this out. Why don't you tell us what you know?"

Kaito sighed again and uncovered his face. "Okay, maybe one of _you guys_ can figure this out." He then told them all about what had gone on that day, from the cell phone battery (which they already knew about) to the lock of hair to Meiko to the Utaus. His story didn't last very long, because there weren't a lot of details besides the clues that were left behind. When he was finished, the table was silent in contemplation.

"Well, I don't know who did it," Len said after a second. "But whoever they are, they're playing one wicked game."

_Game._ Kaito didn't know why, but that word struck him. _Game._ He rethought all of the events that had happened. Not the important events, though, the subtle stuff. The things he never even considered were out of place, but now seemed like the most important things in the world. His mind turned at a rate he didn't even think was possible, until he finally hit upon the most accurate conclusion of the day: A _game_ is exactly what he was playing.

Kaito suddenly jumped up, startling everyone at the table. "Guys, go grab Neru and meet me in the living room!"

"Uh, okay, why?" Luka asked as Kaito started to the door.

"No time for questions! I'll be there in just a minute, now go!" With that, Kaito rushed out the door to prepare for 'The Big Reveal.'

…

Luka, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo and Neru all sat on the fluffy couches in their living room. The TV in the corner of the room was switched off, and the only sound that could be heard was the clicking of keys as Neru texted.

"Why are we here again?" Gakupo looked at the silent group in hopes of getting an answer.

"Because Kaito's an idiot." Neru replied, not looking up from her phone.

"We have no idea," Rin told him. "But I have a feeling we're about to find out." The sound of approaching footsteps grew louder and louder, until Kaito suddenly appeared in the doorway. The very sight of him made everyone's jaw drop, and even Neru glanced up to see him.

The blue haired man was dressed in a tweed suit, covered by an enormous overcoat that hung to his ankles. His head was covered by a deerstalker cap, and in his hand he held an old cherry wood pipe.

"What in the name of all that is melodic are you wearing?" Len asked, still in shock.

"I'm being a detective!" Kaito said happily, spinning around.

"You're being an idiot." Neru said again, and Luka shot her a look.

"Okay, Kaito, why have you brought us here?" Miku asked, trying to get things going.

"So I'll bet you're wondering why I brought you all here." Kaito said, beginning to pace around the room in a very detective-like manner.

"Um, yeah, that's what I just-"

"Well, the reason is simple: I, after many hours of investigating, have finally discovered the identity of the ice cream thief!" He looked at each of them one by one, a confident smirk lighting his face. "Or should I say… _thieves?_"

Miku, Rin, Len and Luka looked at him with wide eyes. "How-?" Rin began, but Kaito silenced her with his hand.

"I know you want to know _how_ I figured everything out, so I'll tell you. My first clue was the cell phone battery. My first conclusion was, of course, that Neru had to be the culprit. I'm convinced that her hands are literally glued to that phone, so it seemed logical at the time. After she threatened me with death, though, I had to assume she was innocent, but then I discovered another clue! It was a lock of pink hair, belonging to none other than Luka."

Luka raised an eyebrow, and Miku blushed. "Yeah, I took it off of your comb while you weren't looking. Sorry."

Kaito grinned. "That explains why you were the only one to question why a cell phone battery was left in the freezer, and why Miku quickly quieted you. You weren't in on it, at least at first, but these two were." Kaito turned his gaze to Rin and Len, who both scooted back uncomfortably. "What made me suspicious was when Rin 'found' the battery in the freezer. I _know_ I looked through that entire freezer, and I saw no battery. But then one magically appears when you look! How very interesting." He smirked confidently again before continuing. "So I believe that Rin already had that battery in her pocket, to use as the first red herring! Leading me straight to Neru, as I said before."

Neru looked up from her phone with a challenging glare. "Are you saying I had something to do with this?"

Kaito swallowed, but managed to keep himself from squeaking this time. "No, Neru. You're so attached to that phone, they knew that someone could plant the next 'clue' in your room and you'd never know who it was. You are what I think they call an unwitting accomplice. So, plant the clue they did! Miku left the little scrap of hair to be found by me, so I would be led to Luka. But by this time, Luka, you were already aware of the plot, weren't you?"

Luka jumped at being called out, and then sighed in resignation. "Yeah, after you left the kitchen, Miku explained what was going on. She told me that she had left a clue that was supposed to lead you to me, though she failed to mention it was my _hair," _Miku laughed nervously. "And she told me I was supposed to point you to someone else. I actually did see Meiko poking around in the kitchen, so I thought I'd point you to her."

"Who then gave me some vague advice that ended with me almost getting murdered by a little girl in pink." Kaito smiled as he finished his story, bursting with triumph at solving the case. Well, almost.

"What I don't understand, though, is why?" Kaito bit on the pipe for a few moments, thinking. "Why would you guys plan to steal my ice cream and lead me on some wild goose chase?"

Miku bit at her lip, and didn't look him in the eye. She was about to speak, when suddenly a voice from the doorway said:

"It wasn't their plan, dummy. It was mine."

Kaito whirled around, only to step back in shock. It was none other than Meiko who stood in the doorway, with a container of ice cream held closely to her red dress. She had a bleak smile on her face, and she still seemed mildly hung over.

"M-Meiko?" Kaito sputtered. His eyes locked on the container. "Is that-?"

"Yes, it's your ice cream."

"But why?"

"Why do you think?" Her eyes showed a hint of anger. "Every single day, I see you surrounded by ice cream. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, as a snack, even when you're not hungry you still eat the stuff! You spend more time with this stupid ice cream than you do with me! So, I decided to test you a little bit. See how far you would go to save your precious dessert." Meiko chuckled, and her smile faded. "Turns out you went further than I expected. You even went after the Utaus to find your ice cream, though my advice to you was obviously referring to myself."

Kaito's eyes grew larger. Of course! The person with the most motivation to steal his ice cream was the one person who felt neglected because of it! _Hold up,_ Kaito tried to process what he just heard. _Does she think I love ice cream more than her?_

His question was answered when Meiko walked up to him and shoved the ice cream at him. "Here, it's yours. You won my little game, and it's obvious that I can't compete with ice cream for a place in your heart." She sniffed slightly and sat down on an empty loveseat, away from everybody else.

Kaito looked down at the ice cream in his hands, then back at Meiko. He should feel happy, shouldn't he? He solved the crime! But instead there was this pit in his stomach, and for once in his life he didn't feel like eating ice cream. He had to fix this somehow.

He snapped his fingers, getting an idea. "I'll be right back!" He called, and bolted out of the room. He returned a while later with two objects in his hand, and sitting beside Meiko, he held one out to her.

She stared at it for a moment. "A spoon?" She asked before hesitantly taking it.

Kaito gave a big grin. "Well, yeah! You've got it all mixed up, Meiko. Ice cream doesn't take a place in my heart, ice cream is the thing you share with the people who do! So will you share my Rocky Road with me, Meiko?" He opened the top of the ice cream and held it out to her.

Meiko gazed at Kaito for a second, her mouth slightly agape. Then, with a big smile, she dug a spoonful of ice cream out. "Yes, of course I will, Kaito."

The rest of the people in the living room took the hint and quietly made their way out, each with a small smile on their faces. Neru made sure to sneak a picture of them to mass text to her friends later. Finally, with everyone gone, Kaito and Meiko enjoyed a fantastic afternoon together, one spoonful of Rocky Road at a time.

END

…

**Chaos: **THAT WAS ADORABLE.

**Author: **I know, right?

**Chaos: **SO MANY FEELS.

**Author: **Well, I'm glad _you _enjoyed it, at least!

**Chaos: **Heck yes I did! Well, readers, this brings us to the end of our very first fanfiction ever!

**Author: **We hate to see it end, but there will be a lot more to come in the future!

**Chaos: **So, with that…

**Author and Chaos: **We'll catch you guys later! 3

**A/N: **I can't believe Chaos didn't remind me to do this sooner (_Hey!) _but I have to thank all you wonderful people who followed, favorited and left such nice comments. ^-^ You guys rock! 3 I haven't been on in a while, but I promise to post again soon, and I hope you'll enjoy my future pieces! I promise to make them as fun to read as they are to write for such an awesome audience! So with that, Chaos and I will catch you on the flip side!


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